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Hi there! First of all, don’t be put off by the large picture of me in front of you. I’m not that much of an egomaniac, but I am a novice at Mail Chimp and don’t have a great logo. Yet. Remember “Murphy Brown”? She was never able to keep a secretary?  Same with logos and me. I lack the skill to design my own, but cannot get someone else to meet my needs (PS. If any of you are graphic designers, email me. We’ll talk).

I am freshly back from For Love of Books and Florida 2017, held at the OMG SERIOUSLY swank Ritz-Carlton of Sarasota. The For Love of Books and Alcohol blog put on the event and they did a bang-up job. If you see a “For Love of Books and ____” near you, go. Don’t hesitate, either as a reader or an author. The big blue blob in the picture below (on the left. You can’t miss me) is happy and smiling (and the boot is broken toe due to tripping over a dog toy).

I’m writing under two names, Susan Thatcher and Monique DeSoto. Susan writes more mainstream fiction. Monique writes humorous erotica, currently focusing on short stories.

I have been lackadaisical about marketing and engagement. I could blame my day job, but as I say to people who don’t follow up on promises (and I say it in a nasty tone), “If it was a priority, you would have found a way.” The truth of the matter is that I’d rather wave a magic wand and “Bippity boppity boo” a completed novel into existence than do the actual work (come to think of it, if I had a magic wand, I’d be freaking dangerous). Sloth is tied for Gluttony in the Favorite Sin category.

I want to write more, be read more, earn a living (or supplement income) through creative endeavors.

I’m asking a favor: I need reviews. On Goodreads, on Amazon, on other outlets like Barnes & Noble. Amazon may be the 800 lb. gorilla, but they’re not the only seller of books.

Let’s start with liking Facebook pages:

Here’s for Susan:

https://www.facebook.com/spthatcherauthor/

Here’s for Monique:

https://www.facebook.com/MoniqueDeSoto61/

Monique needs some love. Susan has over 1,000 followers, but Monique only has 55 (was 56 on Friday. I lost someone).

We’ll get to Twitter and Instagram later.

Okay, I need volunteers to read and review. “These Foolish Things” is a full novel. “Patti Goes to the Dungeon” is a short story under 6,000 words (take you about 20 minutes).

I make healing bracelets, matching gemstones up to particular needs. And they’re pretty, don’t you think?

So…

If you like both pages, read and review both books on a seller’s site (Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powells, the big guys) and send me a link to it, I will draw a name and the winner will receive a custom-made bracelet in the size and color of the winner’s choosing. This is a $50 value.

Got to finish up because “Game of Thrones” came on, but I mean it: If you will help me out, I’ll give you freebies and first shots.

Have a good evening.

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For Love of Books and Florida, 2017

I had a blast. I had an assistant and let me tell you, that made a lot of difference. She could circulate and act as ambassador, chat up people who came to the table, help people one-click buy the e-books:

You can even shoot these codes on your computer screen!

The event planners, For the Love of Books and Alcohol, http://fortheloveofbooksandalcohol.com/    did an outstanding job with planning and execution. I would follow them anywhere and plan to do so (Boston in 2018 and Dublin 2019. Need to finish paying my table fees).

 

Let me share some pictures.

That’s me at the table

My banner. Goes up faster when 2 people work on it

I believe in truth in advertising.

 

In addition to the usual swag, the healing bracelet line I’m introducing, Wearable Magick, made its bow. One bracelet was pre-ordered and one was donated to a silent auction.

 

Contract me. I do special orders. ironrose1961@gmail.com

 

And I connected.

I’m the big blue blob on the left.

 

The QR codes from the previous post worked! I’ve gotten some more followers for both Susan and Monique.

 

I will be paying better attention to my readers (all 10 of you), newsletters, etc. The bottom line here is that it sparked my motivation. You will be hearing from me. And reading more stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

06/15/2017

And that’s about it.

I owe a blog post, a short story, more on “Baldie Chronicles” (or whatever the hell it’s going to be).

The well is dry.

Dry, dryer, driest. Like Atacama desert dry (there are places in the Atacama that have never been rained on. 4 billion years is a long time to be thirsty).

Mudcracks in a dry riverbed, Pan de Azucar National Park. Only about once every decade water runs here for a short period of time.

If writer’s block was a block of cheese, no problem. I’d eat that sumbitch and look for seconds. Especially if it was cheddar and accompanied by a Honeycrisp apple.

 

If writer’s block was an engine block, you could hook it up to get a jump start from someone else. Nope. My writing engine is as dead as my previous car, Yaz, who died in spectacular fashion June 13, 2016.

If writer’s block was a Lego block, it would be embedded in my foot right now.

If it was a politician, it would be hiring a lawyer right about now.

Image result for better call saul

 

(I may be off my game, but I’m still funny as hell)

 

All Choked Up

(I originally wrote this for May 22. Wrote it as a page, not a post. Yeah. That kind of day)

So, under “Monique DeSoto,” I released “Patti Goes to the Dungeon”recently. 99 cent short story, sold a whopping ten copies, but still…

(99 cents. Go buy the damned story. $.99 won’t bankrupt you and you’ll laugh your butt off. Here, let me help…)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495494575&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

I’m getting asked for the next one.

Yikes!

This is the moment when a lot of authors talk about how they get inspired and motivated and go a week without sleep pounding the keyboard to meet the demand of their fans.

Image result for kermit pounding the keyboard

https://youtu.be/wmq6VVNqPz4

My reaction?

(eek)

I’m like some Douglas Adams character that only functions when you don’t look at it directly. Very strange mental block, I must admit. But then again, I’ve never done things the way most folks do. I got in trouble in kindergarten. A lot, actually, but in this case, we were told to draw a brown bear with a black outline. I drew a blue bear with a brown outline (my fashion sense wasn’t fully developed. I didn’t know you don’t put blue with brown). I did my own thing.

My point is that I had a bunch of ideas for more funny erotica. After all, I want to turn this into a collection. Had I written them before the reviews came in, I’d be golden. Maybe some editing, but they’d have flown.

Now that people are looking, I’ve gone dry.

“(Yes, Folks! She thinks she can make a living at this!” “Yeah, right!”)

So, ahead of For Love of Books and Florida, July 15 in Sarasota, I will produce the next Monique DeSoto short story. I will start scribbling it tonight (I MUST start with pen and paper. It’s a jump start to the creative process).

And not choke.