Tag Archive | Patti Goes to the Dungeon

All Choked Up

(I originally wrote this for May 22. Wrote it as a page, not a post. Yeah. That kind of day)

So, under “Monique DeSoto,” I released “Patti Goes to the Dungeon”recently. 99 cent short story, sold a whopping ten copies, but still…

(99 cents. Go buy the damned story. $.99 won’t bankrupt you and you’ll laugh your butt off. Here, let me help…)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495494575&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

I’m getting asked for the next one.

Yikes!

This is the moment when a lot of authors talk about how they get inspired and motivated and go a week without sleep pounding the keyboard to meet the demand of their fans.

Image result for kermit pounding the keyboard

https://youtu.be/wmq6VVNqPz4

My reaction?

(eek)

I’m like some Douglas Adams character that only functions when you don’t look at it directly. Very strange mental block, I must admit. But then again, I’ve never done things the way most folks do. I got in trouble in kindergarten. A lot, actually, but in this case, we were told to draw a brown bear with a black outline. I drew a blue bear with a brown outline (my fashion sense wasn’t fully developed. I didn’t know you don’t put blue with brown). I did my own thing.

My point is that I had a bunch of ideas for more funny erotica. After all, I want to turn this into a collection. Had I written them before the reviews came in, I’d be golden. Maybe some editing, but they’d have flown.

Now that people are looking, I’ve gone dry.

“(Yes, Folks! She thinks she can make a living at this!” “Yeah, right!”)

So, ahead of For Love of Books and Florida, July 15 in Sarasota, I will produce the next Monique DeSoto short story. I will start scribbling it tonight (I MUST start with pen and paper. It’s a jump start to the creative process).

And not choke.

Live! And Getting Good Reviews!

“Patti Goes to the Dungeon,” my first publication under “Monique DeSoto” is live across all platforms (except Scribd, which is staffed by Puritans) for a mere 99 cents American (77 p in pounds sterling, I believe).

These are the reviews so far:

” heard it was billed as “Woody Allen meets 50 shades” and I couldn’t agree more. Hilarious and racey, had to fan myself while laughing. Looking forward to more from this author.”

And

“Not even going to lie – this was the funniest erotica short story I have ever read! Absolutely fun and very realistic. DeSoto did a great job bringing real life humor into this read.”

Go! Go buy it! 99 cents for a laugh (anything else is between you and your partner)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495144391&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

You’ll never hear, “Hey, Siri” the same way again.

A Corollary to “I Am An Idiot. I Admit It Freely”

I just learned another lesson the hard way:

If you are ordering chocolates as swag, pay the extra for express shipping. Especially if you live in Florida.

They used to be chocolate lips

 

It’s sideways, but those are melted chocolate lips. Even Mick Jagger can’t match that.

They’re part of promoting my new pen name and short story, “Patti Goes to the Dungeon” by Monique DeSoto. Monique needs swag.

And this is a great metaphor for the story: you may think you have your ducks in a row, but they are, in fact, doing spring break in Cancun. Doing Red Bull and Jello shots.

Cover resized

Pre-Order Link. Patti Goes to the Dungeon

 

And I can now highly recommend the customer service at Oriental Trading Company.