The One Without a Title

It’s time for forgiveness.

If I have genuinely injured or caused you harm , I am sincerely sorry. Very seldom do I intend to set out to harm or use anyone else. If you feel I have wronged you, it was not personal or intentional.  I am sorry.

If you have wronged me, I forgive you. With the objective view that time and distance permits, I realize that your actions were not guided by malice but by ignorance and selfishness. You cannot help who you are. You are forgiven.

I forgive myself for the wrongs I have done. In hindsight, I realize that my actions were driven by fear, ignorance, and desperation. I have learned since then to work from a more positive frame of mind for better results.

I forgive myself for the wrongs I have done to myself. They have sprung from trying to secure friendships from people who just wanted to see me jump through hoops, from attempts to live the life I want, from “I’ll show you” at bad times. I have learned my lesson.

I forgive those who have deliberately wronged me. You damaged things of mine for your own reasons, stole from me, excluded me from important events, and told yourself and others lies about me to further your own interests. I forgive you for demeaning the things I have done for you to support a bond that never really existed. I realize that you were raised to be self-centered, demanding, egotistical, and a hypocrite. I forgive you because you were raised by a narcissist to be the next generation, and have perfected “operational truth.” I forgive you for your buried hostility, competitiveness, and grasping ways. You have to live with yourself. I don’t. I forgive you.

I forgive the manipulators and users I have encountered. It is how you move through life. I will not apologize for realizing what your game was and refusing to play anymore. It is a shame that you lack self-confidence and fear truth to such an extent that you need to portray yourself as victim. While I forgive you, I will not allow you another chance to run your game on me again.

I forgive you for telling the untruth “Well, I did the best that I could.” That was an operational truth. You pursued a selfish course of action that shifted the burden of your duties to others and caused. I forgive you for projecting your insecurities onto me. I forgive you for messing up a healthy self-image because you were unhappy within yourself. You did what was easiest for you regardless of how it affected those around you. You did know better. You just chose the selfish path. I forgive you because in addition to the harm done, you denied it to yourself and others. You are forgiven.

 

i forgive you for using me as a proxy for your duties, as your emotional garbage can, as the means to achieve your ends then breaking promises made to secure my cooperation. Operational truth. I forgive you for not knowing the difference between who was telling the truth and who was telling you what you wanted to hear.  I forgive you for not treating me as you did the others. I am sorry I did not fit the mold you wanted me so desperately to fill to satisfy your ego.  I forgive you and I forgive myself for  ignoring my better instincts to try, unsuccessfully, to,please you. I forgive myself for,the damage I have done to my life in a futile quest to make you happy. I  forgive you for making those demands.

 

and I forgive you for not being the person I thought you were. You have shown yourself to be untrustworthy by all who meet you, a practitioner of operational truth. I am not the only soul stranded in the path of destruction you have left behind you. And there will be more. You have wished your ills upon me and gotten angry when I refused to accept them. I forgive you. Should our paths cross again, I will learn the lesson you taught me; I will keep you at arm’s length.  I forgive you.

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