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All Choked Up

Jun9

(I originally wrote this for May 22. Wrote it as a page, not a post. Yeah. That kind of day)

So, under “Monique DeSoto,” I released “Patti Goes to the Dungeon”recently. 99 cent short story, sold a whopping ten copies, but still…

(99 cents. Go buy the damned story. $.99 won’t bankrupt you and you’ll laugh your butt off. Here, let me help…)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495494575&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

I’m getting asked for the next one.

Yikes!

This is the moment when a lot of authors talk about how they get inspired and motivated and go a week without sleep pounding the keyboard to meet the demand of their fans.

Image result for kermit pounding the keyboard

https://youtu.be/wmq6VVNqPz4

My reaction?

(eek)

I’m like some Douglas Adams character that only functions when you don’t look at it directly. Very strange mental block, I must admit. But then again, I’ve never done things the way most folks do. I got in trouble in kindergarten. A lot, actually, but in this case, we were told to draw a brown bear with a black outline. I drew a blue bear with a brown outline (my fashion sense wasn’t fully developed. I didn’t know you don’t put blue with brown). I did my own thing.

My point is that I had a bunch of ideas for more funny erotica. After all, I want to turn this into a collection. Had I written them before the reviews came in, I’d be golden. Maybe some editing, but they’d have flown.

Now that people are looking, I’ve gone dry.

“(Yes, Folks! She thinks she can make a living at this!” “Yeah, right!”)

So, ahead of For Love of Books and Florida, July 15 in Sarasota, I will produce the next Monique DeSoto short story. I will start scribbling it tonight (I MUST start with pen and paper. It’s a jump start to the creative process).

And not choke.

Live! And Getting Good Reviews!

May18

“Patti Goes to the Dungeon,” my first publication under “Monique DeSoto” is live across all platforms (except Scribd, which is staffed by Puritans) for a mere 99 cents American (77 p in pounds sterling, I believe).

These are the reviews so far:

” heard it was billed as “Woody Allen meets 50 shades” and I couldn’t agree more. Hilarious and racey, had to fan myself while laughing. Looking forward to more from this author.”

And

“Not even going to lie – this was the funniest erotica short story I have ever read! Absolutely fun and very realistic. DeSoto did a great job bringing real life humor into this read.”

Go! Go buy it! 99 cents for a laugh (anything else is between you and your partner)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495144391&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

You’ll never hear, “Hey, Siri” the same way again.

This N That

May11

This is going to be a olio (look it up) of a blog post.

First off, my books (and the upcoming “Patti Goes to the Dungeon by Monique DeSoto) are featured in “Affaire de Couer” magazine. Here’s the link. You know, at $1.99, $.99, and $.99, you can have hours of enjoyment, spend less than coffee at Starbucks (and not have the burnt taste), and not have the caffeine jitters.

Here’s the link:

http://affairedecoeur.com/theaffairedecoeurbookshelf.html

If you’re on Facebook, Hangin’ With Web Show gave me a shout out.

https://www.facebook.com/susan.thatcher.357?sk=approve&highlight=1271445606326018&log_filter=review&queue_type=non_friends&notif_t=mention&notif_id=1494430074256111

If you prefer paperbacks, I’ve got the hookup in “Buy Now” on my page.

http://www.susanthatcher.com/buy-now/

On the “Learn the Hard Way” front, let me share some newly-acquired wisdom:

You can only send ARCs out once through Bookfunnel.  Once. Uno. Une. Eins. That is, if you create a campaign, you’ve got to have all your email addresses together and listed before hitting “send” because, like being Jeopardy and losing, it’s a one shot deal (trust me. Been there. Done that. Got the pens and reusable shopping bag). Line up the mallards, Kids, THEN send them. Can’t send them a few at a time or even just one then come back. Annoyed sigh. Some people are born to be shining models. I’m more of a cautionary tale.

And finally, I’m going to be reviewing books in this space (I have TWO tall stacks. The Two Towers). I know you’re all thrilled.

 

Reasons Why

May5

It was suggested to me that I should make a list of all the reasons why I write stories, make bracelets, and some other things I’d like to get going (graphic t shirts). I’m going to do that here (and has anyone heard of a magazine called Pyramid? or The Pyramid?)

 

  1. Books: I like to create stories.
  2. Books: I get inspired by all kinds of things that can play out into multiple acts with beginning, middle, end.
  3. Books: I’d like to make enough money from writing to support myself.
  4. Books: It’s cook to get to the point where the characters stop “listening” to you and have been fueled enough with detail to start acting and talking on their own.
  5. Books: I like to explore ideas.
  6. Books: I wrote These Foolish Things because I thought older lovers are interesting.
  7. Books: I’m writing short stories because I’m used to writing essays, briefs, and papers.
  8. Books: I’m writing erotica because it’s legal (for now) and I can give it my own twist.
  9. Books: I want to create characters that people care about, want to have as their friends.
  10. Books: This is a lasting legacy.
  11. Books: I’m good at this.
  12. Books/writing: I like to entertain people. My words get a better response than me as myself.
  13. Books/writing: I want to write things that inspire people to think differently about a subject, to see themselves in, to learn something
  14. Books/writing: I have something to say
  15. Books/writing: my great-grandmother, Daisy Washburn Lovell, wrote two books, “Glad Tidings” and “Glimpses of Early Wareham.”
  16. Books/writing: If Grandma Lovell is going to be in the Library of Congress, so am I
  17. Books/writing: I think if I get these stories out of my head and onto paper, I may be able to sleep better.
  18. Books/writing: I get a kick out of autographing copies.
  19. Books/writing: Reviews: so far, they’re positive
  20. Books/writing: I have an excuse to attend group signing events
  21. Books/bracelets/T shirts: the American standard for judging the quality of your talent is whether someone is willing to pay for it.
  22. Bracelets: I have friends with issues that certain stones can treat.
  23. Bracelets: I love handling the stones.
  24. Bracelets: Researching which stones do what is fun.
  25. Bracelets: The bracelets are beautiful
  26. Bracelets: I enjoy earning money from something that I create.
  27. T shirts: It’s fashion, in a fashion
  28. T shirts: It’s fun to come up with messages
  29. T shirts: colors, glittery print = FUN
  30. All of it: I am more than my day job and goddammit, I aim to prove that.