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So What Else is New?

Yeah, I owe you two posts. NOT THAT ANYBODY COMPLAINED!!!!

Post #1: Things Promotional

I did an interview with the Hangin’ With Web Show and it will be up on Youtube tomorrow!

Hangin’ With Youtube Channel

And Wednesday, April 25, 2017 (aka TOMORROW) I will be LIVE on Facebook, you can come hassle me at BookRhythm’s Night of Romance live event:

Night of Romance – Facebook

Plus, Affaire de Coeur magazine has been tweeting me up all over the place and… Monique DeSoto.  Monique. Yeah. We’ll talk about her later.

Post #2: So What the Hell Have I Been Doing?

 

I have been doing some non-book stuff. I make bracelets for healing. They look like this:

anti anxiety lepidolite anti anxiety sodalite

Both are anti-anxiety. The left is made with lepidolite, which is more of a mood stabilizer. The right is sodalite to fend off anxiety attacks.

prosperity prosperity 2

These guys are for prosperity. Both are made with green aventurine, which attracts prosperity.

anti migraine 1

Anti-migraine: Amethyst, Lapis lazuli

And

dragon bracelet strung

Courage: dragons blood jasper and dragon head bead. This stone is new to me. I love it.

All for sale. Inquire within.

Besides that, I rewrote a friend’s resume and edited a couple of stories.

And baked a ham.

Yes, I’ve been busy.

A Corollary to “I Am An Idiot. I Admit It Freely”

I just learned another lesson the hard way:

If you are ordering chocolates as swag, pay the extra for express shipping. Especially if you live in Florida.

They used to be chocolate lips

 

It’s sideways, but those are melted chocolate lips. Even Mick Jagger can’t match that.

They’re part of promoting my new pen name and short story, “Patti Goes to the Dungeon” by Monique DeSoto. Monique needs swag.

And this is a great metaphor for the story: you may think you have your ducks in a row, but they are, in fact, doing spring break in Cancun. Doing Red Bull and Jello shots.

Cover resized

Pre-Order Link. Patti Goes to the Dungeon

 

And I can now highly recommend the customer service at Oriental Trading Company.

I am an Idiot. I Admit it Freely.

So far, going to signing events has not been profitable. I don’t sell a lot of books. However, I learn things and I am the Founder, Dean, Provost, Sergeant At Arms, and Faculty Chair of the School of Learning Things the Hard Way.

For example, how to market one’s books. I screw up. I screw up a lot.

I figured, “Write a story. Get it edited. You’re done! You’ve created the book!”

Not so much.

I’m a solo act which means I am the one responsible for marketing aka convincing people to buy the book. I can persuade people to buy stuff, just get squeamish when selling MY stuff. That doesn’t work well when you are a solo act.

Authors create swag: small pieces of merchandise that reference you and your works. Things like bookmarks, cards, business cards, tiny versions of your book cover made into magnets, bookmarks, other chotchkes. The idea is that people will have your stuff and think of you, think of your books, maybe persuade someone to buy the books.

Go ahead, ask me if I had contact information on my stuff.

Nope.

image

Didn’t even have a good email address on my business cards (it used to work, but I forgot the password and Gmail wouldn’t let me get it going again. For all I know, it’s how the Russians hacked the election).

I’ve spent more than a couple hundred dollars on swag. My bookmarks didn’t have MY contact info, but they had the Twitter handle of the Etsy artisan who made them. Not smart.

I’ve come up with a couple of images for branding purposes. It’s a start. I’ve come up with a new Gmail address for the business stuff (and for my pen name). Another step forward.

I’ve invested in some actual advertising in “Affaire de Coeur” magazine. Will it lead to sales? Don’t know. Pam Ackerson, who knows her way around advertising, a) explained how exposure works and it’s essentially a funnel that narrows down the field of possible buyers faster than the NCAA tourney clears out teams, and b) she came up with some excellent taglines. It’s like dating: you have to get out there (and the Amazon Kindle One-Click is kind of a Tindr app for buying books. Far too many people not swiping right on my stuff).

So, I need to redesign, including contact info. I need eye-catching. I need an elevator pitch for all of my stuff. I can do these things.

I may be an idiot, but that can be overcome with education. It’s just expensive, annoying and time consuming doing it my way.

But, I’m learning.

And Onward…

bobasekjax17 selfie

 

Yes, I’m still here. This is the second week in a row I missed the Thursday post.

And the second week in a row none of your shnooks complained about it.

Book Obsessed Babes Jacksonville 2017 has come and gone. The above photo is me playing selfie. For that to happen, I need 1) fresh hair color and cut, 2) a good night’s sleep the night before, 3) preferably something blue, and 4) a face full of makeup. And voila, I took a picture. I will add photos to this post at a later date. Let me tell you what I did.

I have previously written erotica for Playgirl magazine. Year ago. I decided to wade in again, but do it in my own fashion: make it funny. Laughter is sexy. Sex is ridiculous. However, since this is a new direction for me. I chose a pen name (Monique DeSoto) and wrote “Patti Goes to the Dungeon.”

“What happens?” you ask.

“Spend 99 cents to find out, ” I reply.

So, I  offer the following pre-order for your consideration:

Patti Promo

 

See that? You can just shoot that code with your phone! And push a button, then wait for delivery! Cool, huh?

No, I’m not good at teasing. But Patti is…