Archives

06/15/2017

And that’s about it.

I owe a blog post, a short story, more on “Baldie Chronicles” (or whatever the hell it’s going to be).

The well is dry.

Dry, dryer, driest. Like Atacama desert dry (there are places in the Atacama that have never been rained on. 4 billion years is a long time to be thirsty).

Mudcracks in a dry riverbed, Pan de Azucar National Park. Only about once every decade water runs here for a short period of time.

If writer’s block was a block of cheese, no problem. I’d eat that sumbitch and look for seconds. Especially if it was cheddar and accompanied by a Honeycrisp apple.

 

If writer’s block was an engine block, you could hook it up to get a jump start from someone else. Nope. My writing engine is as dead as my previous car, Yaz, who died in spectacular fashion June 13, 2016.

If writer’s block was a Lego block, it would be embedded in my foot right now.

If it was a politician, it would be hiring a lawyer right about now.

Image result for better call saul

 

(I may be off my game, but I’m still funny as hell)

 

All Choked Up

(I originally wrote this for May 22. Wrote it as a page, not a post. Yeah. That kind of day)

So, under “Monique DeSoto,” I released “Patti Goes to the Dungeon”recently. 99 cent short story, sold a whopping ten copies, but still…

(99 cents. Go buy the damned story. $.99 won’t bankrupt you and you’ll laugh your butt off. Here, let me help…)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495494575&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

I’m getting asked for the next one.

Yikes!

This is the moment when a lot of authors talk about how they get inspired and motivated and go a week without sleep pounding the keyboard to meet the demand of their fans.

Image result for kermit pounding the keyboard

https://youtu.be/wmq6VVNqPz4

My reaction?

(eek)

I’m like some Douglas Adams character that only functions when you don’t look at it directly. Very strange mental block, I must admit. But then again, I’ve never done things the way most folks do. I got in trouble in kindergarten. A lot, actually, but in this case, we were told to draw a brown bear with a black outline. I drew a blue bear with a brown outline (my fashion sense wasn’t fully developed. I didn’t know you don’t put blue with brown). I did my own thing.

My point is that I had a bunch of ideas for more funny erotica. After all, I want to turn this into a collection. Had I written them before the reviews came in, I’d be golden. Maybe some editing, but they’d have flown.

Now that people are looking, I’ve gone dry.

“(Yes, Folks! She thinks she can make a living at this!” “Yeah, right!”)

So, ahead of For Love of Books and Florida, July 15 in Sarasota, I will produce the next Monique DeSoto short story. I will start scribbling it tonight (I MUST start with pen and paper. It’s a jump start to the creative process).

And not choke.

Memorial Day Perspective

From the Department of Veterans Affairs website:

“Three years after the Civil War ended, on May 5, 1868, the head of an organization of Union veterans — the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR) — established Decoration Day as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Maj. Gen. John A. Logan declared that Decoration Day should be observed on May 30. It is believed that date was chosen because flowers would be in bloom all over the country.

It was not until after World War I, however, that the day was expanded to honor those who have died in all American wars. In 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday by an act of Congress, though it is still often called Decoration Day. It was then also placed on the last Monday in May, as were some other federal holidays.”

On June 6, 1944, in Operation Overlord, the Allies (USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Free France, New Zealand, Belgium, Greece, Poland, Denmark, Czechoslovakia, Netherlands, Norway) made a major push into northern continental Europe through the beaches of Normandy in France.

Over 10,000 men died, but the objective was achieved and Germany surrendered 11 months later.

In September 2013, two artists etched over 9,000 silhouettes into the sand of those beaches to commemorate the soldiers and civilians who died on that day.

http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2013/09/the-fallen-9000/

I grew up in Rutland, Vermont. Rutland is divided in Rutland City and Rutland Town. I grew up in Rutland Town. Current population: City 16,495 as of 2010. Town: 4,038 as of 2000 (statistics from Wikipedia).

Rutland City would have lost 55% of its population. Rutland Town would have been eradicated twice over.

Think about that for a moment.

And that was just one day. One battle. One war.

Not the first. Not the last.

It is the ultimate sacrifice by some for the greater good of the many.

One final link:

 

Live! And Getting Good Reviews!

“Patti Goes to the Dungeon,” my first publication under “Monique DeSoto” is live across all platforms (except Scribd, which is staffed by Puritans) for a mere 99 cents American (77 p in pounds sterling, I believe).

These are the reviews so far:

” heard it was billed as “Woody Allen meets 50 shades” and I couldn’t agree more. Hilarious and racey, had to fan myself while laughing. Looking forward to more from this author.”

And

“Not even going to lie – this was the funniest erotica short story I have ever read! Absolutely fun and very realistic. DeSoto did a great job bringing real life humor into this read.”

Go! Go buy it! 99 cents for a laugh (anything else is between you and your partner)

https://www.amazon.com/Patti-Goes-Dungeon-Monique-DeSoto-ebook/dp/B06Y1C5W69/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495144391&sr=8-1&keywords=patti+goes+to+the+dungeon

You’ll never hear, “Hey, Siri” the same way again.