Archive | February 2017

Spam Spam Spam Spam

With a blog, you get comments. Actually, ANYTHING you do on the Internet is bound to get comments these days. Inevitably, they include spam.

john cleese spam

Monty Python Spam

No, not the fun kind of spam as seen above. I’m talking computer-generated “what the hell does this mean” kind of spam. As such, I dedicate tonight’s post to a cross-section of what has to be cleaned out weekly:

free amateur porn gallery porn milf group mathilda porn hd porn thums free sign up for porn

(I can probably write better stuff. And spell it correctly).

What a pleasant YouTube video it is! Remarkable, I loved it, and I am sharing this YouTube record with all my friends.

(Dude, this isn’t Youtube)

 

find girl for dating italy free dating site transexual dating free phone number cape town sex dating

(What, exactly are you saying?)

I am cheap Charles Clay jerseys supplier online,

(Sounds like an identity crisis)

I just could not go away your site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual information a person provide to your visitors? Is gonna be back incessantly in order to check up on new posts

(Maybe let’s cut back the caffeine, shall we?)

The root logs me, I get news

(Ernest Hemingway, is that you?)

Home Depot Garden Hoses

(No explanation needed)

I see your page needs some unique content. Writing manually is time consuming,
but there is solution for this.

(Ain’t it the truth)

And finally, my all-time favorite, see it most often (says it all, really):

 

??????????,??????????, ??? ????? ????? ??????? ????? ? ????????????.
????? ????? ????, ???????????? 

Taking on a Life of Their Own

I’m writing again and not just this blog and tweets hurled at the current occupant of the White House (Secret Service hasn’t been by to visit). In order to have new material, I have to sit down and actually create it (no chip in my head to translate to the Internet for your viewing pleasure. It’s a crazy, scary, jumbled mess up there anyway with calculations, mortgage guidelines, cat videos/memes/memories, and visualization of myself with the winning Powerball ticket. And stories, fragments, and “what ifs.” If my brain was a TV show, it would be an episode of “Hoarders” subtitled “The Craziest Pile of Shit We’ve Found Yet.”)

Looks about right

Looks about right

But I digress.

So, I’ve started work on a short story (whopping 802 words over 3 nights. Woo). I start out with pen and notebook (leopard print) writing narrative. It’s like jump-starting a standard transmission; hold in the clutch, get your friends to push it, when you get to around 10 MPH, pop it in first. My throwing it into first is moving the words from ink and paper to pixels on a screen.

And, that’s where the craziness happens.

Ask any author (and any author who reads this blog is invited to comment): At some point, your characters stop obeying your wishes and start doing things on their own. For instance, my current story (it’s a short story, so if I post spoilers, there won’t be anything left for you to read). I had an idea for what I wanted Patti and Ed to do. Their own words started coming out of their mouths. And then they started moving and doing “stuff” faster than I could keep up.

Time to turn off the motor, i.e., go back to the pen and paper to take notes.  (Please note: that is the proper use of i.e. Merriam-Webster wouldn’t lie)

This is really my notebook

This is really my notebook

So, I started scribbling. (I’m afraid to try to read my own handwriting) Dialogue fragments, questions to myself about the direction, various storylines (my initial one wasn’t necessarily going to remain). I almost wish I smoked (Never have). Just seems like a cigarette would be a useful prop for thinking. Cross-outs, margin notes, more questions…

All because two imaginary people decided to take on a life of their own.

My goal is to have this story complete (edited, printed, bound) in time for Book Obsessed Babes 2017 in Jacksonville on April 8 (Should my local friends read this, bring back a bagel and coffee from Einstein’s for me on Sunday, please).

After I finish writing this post, finding amusing photos to insert (or half naked men. They can be amusing, too), I will see where Patti and Ed lead me.

Half naked

Half naked

 

Life and Life and Life….

I got a very pleasant surprise this morning: the Authors Database named me and my books to a “Must Read” list.

2013-07-25 15.05.41

AUTHORSdb tweet

I have gotten only one bad review and that was from a guy who thought he was buying something else. Yeah, I don’t have as many reviews as J.K. Rowling (who I admire even more for her brilliant tweets), but only one bad one is pretty good.

In other news…

Life, the Universe, and Everything (we’re not far from the Deep Thought computer that Douglas Adams envisioned) seems to be hell-bent on seeing how badly I want to write something. I sat down to write a short story (which – are you listening, Life? – I want to have completed to offer at Book Obsessed Babes in Jacksonville on April 8) .

 One paragraph, one. One lousy paragraph and suddenly, I’m up to my armpits in other things demanding my immediate attention. This happens every bleeping time I sit down to write something new, I swear to God. One time, I powered through it and just hunched over my keyboard hammering away…

My computer died. And it died before I could upload the manuscript to a cloud and work on it from another device.  It took a year and a half before I could buy a new one (it was the lean times).

Life is a bully. Straight up. “Ooh, can’t reach your manuscript! Hey, your phone’s blowing up! (once, literally) Ah, look at that; you have to move. Poop emoji (Like is a bully fluent in modern hieroglyphics). Nice story you’ve started. Shame if something happened to it.“

o-POOP-EMOJI-ICE-CREAM-facebook

I hear from other authors that Life is equally mean to them at such times, sometimes in far worse ways.

So, Life, here’s the deal. Like it or not. I’m writing. You are not going to interrupt me. Got it? Go bug a sculptor or a stripper or someone doing a poetry slam. I’m busy.

In Brief…

A brief post tonight for a couple of things. Good things for me. Promotional thing.

First of all, Author MCV Egan interviewed me and reviewed “These Foolish Things” and “At Last.” Link below:

catalina

MCV Egan review

Also, I have 2 General Admission tickets available for Book Obsessed Babes 2017 on April 8, 2017 at the Omni (Oooh, swanky) in Jacksonville, FL. If you want them, leave a comment. Liking my Facebook page would help.

Bobase Jax 17

Susan Thatcher Author Facebook Page